…it can’t get any worse.” — The Beatles
I am not sure if this was a national thing or not but here in Miami we were given a chart and article on the phases of first year teaching. I am definitely in disillusionment phase. Apparently rock bottom happens in October and doesn’t really go away until you come back from winter break.
All I keep thinking every day is that I hope, I really do hope. Especially for my kids sake. If it keeps up like this I will barely be making it through my lessons and the performance art that is teaching will definitely suffer.
Most of the time I’m really thinking, what am I doing here? I majored in Media Management and Political Science, emphasis on the media bit. I know about running businesses and the newest technologies and where the future is headed in that sense…I know nothing about children and how to control them and teach them and make them valuable successful adults. I barely feel like one myself.
So far all of the people I have reached out to and all of the resources I have found have not made me feel any better. I even texted my colab partner, to find he has already quit and has found a new job.
At what point do you realize this isn’t what you should be doing or that you really are going to make it through it? I always say that I am not a quitter but does being a quitter mean that my students will actually benefit? Am I being too hard on myself, too much of a perfectionist? What should I be aiming for right now? I am so full of questions without a single answer.
Where do I go from here?